What is it that they say about best laid plans…
“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.”
Damn you Robert Burns. My all important letter arrived the other day from the dean; it starts like this “I regret to inform you…” At that moment my world came crashing down around me and the first thing I thought was ‘all my hard work…I worked my ass off…I deserved to pass!’ My second thought was how the hell did this happen?! I was an English major, writing papers is what I do. In addition to these thoughts I began to remember that I have received all A’s and A-’s in my core courses (two B+’s in elective courses) how did I not receive a passing grade on my essay? How can an entire program’s worth of work (damn good work too) be judged on three essays!? Do those three essays truly reflect what I have learned throughout the program? Does it factor all the late nights I’ve worked? The countless cups of tea I drank while pouring over my books? My ability to take 12 credits a semester, move, get married and still get all A’s in one semester? How about the fact that I busted my ass to finish in 15 months while others take 3+ years to do the same work? Hey, no one ever said that this was going to be fair. The good news is that I only need to retake one core essay and I get to take my first exam home so I can obsess over what I did wrong and how to avoid the same mistake next time. In the grand scheme of life this is only a minor set back; worse things could have happened. However I have never failed anything in my life. In fact being a failure/failing is one of my greatest fears. People keep reminding me that this is a growing experience but at the moment this is not helping. I was supposed to be a librarian by January! That extra money would help us start saving for a house and push out lives forward. I can still find a second job however I will only be a trainee not a librarian. Well it stands repeating Best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
Ps. My little rant is over, thanks for listening/reading. Knitting content coming soon, once the pile of school work is finished and I get over my laziness and connect the damn camera to the computer.